Tannen Fighting for Our Lives

Deborah Tannen's chapter, "Fighting for Our Lives," is a very engaging and interesting view on our culture as a whole. She discusses how we as a culture use debate, attack, and criticism as a means of being the victor of an argument. She claims, "When you're having an argument with someone, your goal is not to listen and understand. Instead, you use every tactic you can think of-including distorting what your opponent just said-in order to win the argument" (Tannen 5). Reflecting upon life in an honest manor, we argue daily; some could claim that it's almost human nature. When reflecting upon silly arguments with friends or family, (at least I personally), attempt to approach the argument with force and harsh delivery, not only to win, but to put down the other person's idea(s). Why do I do this? Is it culture based or from growing up in the family environment I did? I'm not the only one who does this either. In terms of media surveillance, lets look at the show "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia." "It's Always Sunny" is based upon a group of friends who exhibit extreme dishonestly, disloyalty, selfishness and lack of respect for one another. In every episode, this group of "friends" creates ridiculous ideas and schemes which always leads to each one exploiting one another, conspiring against each other and doing whatever necessary to boost one over the other, regardless of consequence. Now, had this show been real life based, it would be plain disgusting to see what people do for personal gain. However, this show is one of the funniest shows on television. Why? Why do people enjoy other's downfalls? Is our culture defined upon doing all necessary to be the "best" even if that means physically or emotionally destroying someone else? This ties into Tannen's chapter in the sense that we as a culture don't attempt to win arguments through, "exploring, exposing, delving, analyzing, understanding, moving, connecting, integrating, illuminating" (Tannen 24). Instead, we win arguments by mocking, attacking, and distorting to emotionally destroy your opponent. Let's attempt to change the ways we argue and communicate with one another.